Monday, October 15, 2007

"Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned" or "How I Slept With the Wrong Woman And Lost My Mojo"

Woman are powerful beings, and woman that are totally pissed at you are very powerfully and irrational and very very spiteful beings. As this guy in Nigeria found out.
In a dramatic twist of sex scandal, a middle aged man who accused his sex partner of stealing his genital has now turned into an accused after the accused lady was forced by the police, on recommendation of a herbalist into another intercourse, in a bid to restore his manhood in Bassan Jiwa, Airport Village, Abuja.

Okay, the first paragraph of the story ought to tell you that you and I are not the only ones getting scammed in Nigeria.
An Abuja-based beer palour owner called Grace Igbian has been accused by her lover Kingsley Ulame of 'stealing' his sexual organ. They had been dating for an exteded period of time and they last stayed and slept together for 29 days before he travelled home to see his family in Benin, Edo State. But instead of enjoying his stay with his family, Ulame said he started having problems with his organ. He noticed that he could not have an erection. According to him, his organ stopped functioning and he was frightened that it may result to impotence.

Now, I have to stop right here and ask the big question (pun is indeed intended) I want to know how can this woman "steal" his sex organ and him not notice until he tried to get an erection days later. If it where me, I would notice something like that the first time I tried to pee.
Igbian confessed to making love with him for 29 days before he travelled home. She also described Ulame as a caring person. But she denied stealing his manhood and to buttress her ignorance, Igbian swore an oath before Weekly Trust. She said she was innocent of the charges levelled against her.

But Ulame insisted that Igbian had at a point threatened him that he will never regain use of his organ unless he has intercourse with her again.

Things are clearing up a little now, she didn't really steal Mr Winky, she stole his Mojo, he still had Mr Winky attached, but without his Mojo, Mr Winky was just a flacid useless tool, flapping in the wind, drawing silly cartoons, doing nothing.
According to her, the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) of Airport Division, Assistant Superintendent of Police, Peter Thazilza invited a herbalist called Haifa, a Fulani woman who thereafter claimed that Igbian had indeed stolen Ulame's organ. Subsequently, Igbian said she was forced to have sex with Ulame by the DPO in his office, because they wanted the man to 'regain his manhood'. In an effort to realise whether she was the person who stole the man's organ, she said the DPO promised to bring another woman to his office so that Ulame will 'test' his organ.

Yep, makes sense, cops made her sleep with him so he can get his Mojo back. And the cops asked another woman to come in afterwards so he can test it out. Nice cops, helpful and dutiful policemen, every town needs guys like these.

He gets his Mojo back, she has her reputation trashed, I love happy endings.

Mr Minority