Friday, July 02, 2004

Behold the Lowly Troll

In the last month, the frequency of Trolls attacks on the VRWC has increased to a disproportional amount. This has stirred the curiosity in me to investigate the current strain of Troll.

In the Days of Old, when Knights were Bold....the Troll was a high to medium level nuisance to be dealt with swiftly and succinctly. These foul creatures, who ate the pulverized carrion, found on our hiways and byways, would venture into the Honorable VRWC Sphere of Blog spewing Dementocrap/Appeasenik propaganda and try to convince the Loyal Citizens that they had valid points to their argument. A brave LC of the Empire would sallie forth and dispatch the miserable creature with his sharp whit and keyboard, thus leaving the Troll a quivering mass of putrid pile of protoplasm.

My investigation has lead me to the following conclusions about the current strain of Troll:
As the older Troll sect has died off, and the remaining Trolls have inbred (I can hear the Dueling Banjos now) like maggots in a pile of shit, to the point of Just Plain Stupidity. These Fidiotâ„¢ Trolls are the product of the worst incestial combinations imaginable: Daddy - Daughter, Daddy - Son and Brother - Brother genetic strains.

The DU Branch; Daddy - Son Combo (imagine the offspring of Sadam and Uday Hussein): are represented by Boobert McClelland, J and Anonymous. These trolls, due to the Daddy - Son inbreeding, lack spines and male genitalia. They splatter an utterly stupid and inane comments on the thread, and when a LC goes forth, they RUN, like shit through my ass after ingesting 20lbs of Jalapenos, Refried Beans and a jar of Tabasco sauce. They have neither the balls nor the whit to stand up to a Loyal Citizen.

The Euroweenie/Francophile Branch; The Daddy - Daughter Combo (imagine the offspring of Bill and Chelsea Clinton): Are represented with the likes of Joan (The Shit Fetish Frog Girl), Rooley Booley, Mark and What's his name...ah it doesn't matter. These Euroweenie Trolls' comments are off the walls, blathering, and make zero sense to the thread being discussed. Their knee jerk reaction and rabid foaming at the mouth, when a LC comments on the surrenderability of the Fwench, is worse than watching a snail foam up and writhe on the ground after being doused with salt. They are to be pitied, due to inheriting the Brain Devouring French Syphilitic Bug of Death from having Daddy - Daughter Sex without bathing for 6 mths.

And the Commie/Pinko Branch of Trolls; Brother - Brother Combo (imagine the offspring of Ted and Michael Moore Kennedy): These card carrying Pinko Trolls are some of the worst of the bunch. Represented by Um Yeah, LLL, JBeez, and Burning Bush. These trolls remind me of the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A LC will venture forth, whack their leg and argument out from underneath them, and they still spew the same Pinko red froth. The LC will then whack off the other leg, same diatribe, and on and on. These trolls are left on the field of battle, like a worm infected dump left by a rabid dog, and yet they still spew their gut out, unknowing that they have been conquered. Another characteristic is, the classical "I know you are, but what am I" verbiage that comes out of their sphincter like mouths. These are also the Bandwidth devouring trolls, after both legs and arguments have been removed, they must be bypassed like King Arthur walked by the Black Knight.

Alas these Trolls do bring forth some joy to the masses, as the sight of their slaughter, by Loyal Citizens, provides a side show, and sometimes the Main Event to the postings and comments.

What the VRWC Empire needs is good liberal opposition to be decimated, instead of the current diseased infected, shit-for-brains, Francophile, Foronicâ„¢, inbred Trolls.

Mr Minority