Saturday, September 08, 2007

The Gene Pool Looks REAL Murky

With the advent of the Internet, we are able to be more connected to news and events that are happening outside of our immediate realms. And with the increased ability to gather news from around the world and America, comes the stories that make you shake your head and say, "the gene pool needs a heavy dose of chlorine!" (h/t Fark)

Woman Lose Keys and Torches Neighbors Home
A "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" woman lost her house keys, and thinking the neighbors stole them, torched their home:
FLORENCE, Ore. --A woman was arrested and charged with arson and burglary after police say she set fire to the home of a neighbor she thought had stolen her keys.

According to a police report, the woman told a deputy that after discovering her keys missing, she broke into her neighbors' trailer, and began trashing the place.

After going home to fetch lighter fluid and cooking oil, she returned to the neighbors' place and tried to start a fire by spraying lighter fluid on a hot stove burner, according to the report.

When that didn't work, she allegedly placed the oil and a stuffed animal on the stove, according to the report.

She called 9-1-1 and hid in a bush across the street while deputies and firefighters responded, Riley said.

The woman's boyfriend said a friend called him at work and he rushed home to find her hiding in the bushes, barefoot and incoherent, according to the report.

The woman told her boyfriend her keys were missing, at which time he pointed to a set of keys hanging from her pants pocket and "she began to cry," Riley said.

They were hanging from her pants pocket the whole time!

"Lord please in your infinite wisdom, don't let a short buser like that move in next door to me!"

Small Town Mayor Forwards E-Mail Porno
Now what could go wrong forwarding a half nude picture and a joke?
The mayor of Tonganoxie is apologizing after admitting he sent a pornographic e-mail from his computer.

Mike Vestal forwarded an e-mail to a list of undisclosed recipients, including a 6 News Reporter.

The message shows a topless woman and reads: "Next Monday is national female breast appreciation day. Beats the "expletive" out of Martin Luther King day, doesn't it?"

Now honestly I think that is pretty funny, but this moron makes the list because he forwarded it to a reporter! Yep, he is clouding up the gene pool.

Thief Tries to Rob a School
You are a criminal, you are hard up, so you try to hit an easy target. Except the target isn't as easy as you think!
BOGOTA (AFP) - A feckless stick-up man chose the wrong target when he was beaten and hospitalized in an attempted robbery of a karate school in Bucaramanga in northwestern Colombia, police said.

"The man entered the academy with a firearm, but could not intimidate the dozens of students, who fortunately reacted and disarmed him," said Colonel Julio Cesar Santoyo, police commander in the province of Santander.

Trying to rob a Karate School. Ohhh, lots of chlorine needed for this guy.

Driving While Stupid
You hear all sorts of weird driver stories, but this driver is really twisted.
BARRE – A driver accused of two wild vehicle collisions last Saturday – the second resulting in his car going up in flames – was ordered not to drive and to submit to substance abuse screening at his arraignment Tuesday.

The police affidavits revealed a string of bizarre details behind the accidents, which included allegations that Robar was inhaling computer keyboard cleaner while driving and was on crack cocaine, and had indicated a willingness to purposefully hit pedestrians and other cars.

Police said after Robar walked away without any injuries from a vehicle collision in the afternoon Saturday, Robar got back into his car, took it back out on the highway and drove it into rock ledge in the median of I-89 between exits 9 and 10. The impact with the rock caused Robar's car to go up in flames but Robar sustained only minor injuries.

High on crack, huffs keyboard cleaner (?!?!?!?!), crashes, gets back into his car, crashes again, his car goes up in flames, and he walks away with minor injuries! The gene pool would have been better off if he had died, but fate has a sense of humor. The pool needs an acid bath to rid itself of this dude.

These are just a couple of stories about events that are happening numerous times daily, and they highlight the position that evolution is a crock, because if evolution was a valid mechanism at work in humans, it would have gotten rid of the inferior genes that these specimens contain a long time ago.

The gene pool is looking like a neglected scummy fish tank, and if it weren't for modern technology and medical science, it would be a lot cleaner.

Save our nation, send a donation to: Clean Out the Gene

Mr Minority

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